How to Get More Responses on an Online Dating Site

By braniac

If you've been trying to find love online, chances are you're frustrated by low response rates. Whether you're a gal waiting for men to make contact or you're a guy who can't seem to get anyone to reply to your initial messages, here's how to get more responses when you're using an online dating site.One thing to keep in mind--this article doesn't cover the basics (proper spelling, posting decent photos, and not being sleazy) because I figure you've already got those covered. But, it never hurts to have a friend turn a critical eye to your profile just to make sure you're not making one of these obvious mistakes.

Things You'll Need

  • An online dating site membership
  • Photos
  • A personality ;-)

Step 1

Your online dating profile needs to contain three sections: About You, About Who You're Looking For, and About Your Ideal Relationship. You don't need to use headings for them, but do make sure you cover each of these areas. (This'll help you meet word count requirements, too.) Rather than blathering endlessly, an easy way to approach each of these sections is to write a story (a true story, not a fictional one!). So, for instance, when describing your ideal partner, paint a picture of that perfect date and how your partner responds (maybe it rains and the two of you duck under your jacket as you dash for cover). When describing yourself, tell a story about the tea party you endured for your nieces last week.

Step 2

After fleshing out your profile, it's time to start writing winning emails. Whether you're male or female, reach out and reply to people with profiles you like. But, DO NOT write an email that goes something like, "You're so cute. I liked your profile. Sincerely, Super Smooth." Rather, use this formula:1) Say hello!2) Extend a compliment about their profile. (JUST ONE. Preferably, not about appearance.)3) Mention a common interest and invite them to check out your profile.4) Ask a question.5) Close with, "I'd love to hear from you" or some variation thereof.All five of these are key because this way you're showing that you didn't just copy/paste an email to everyone within 10 miles. Plus, you're giving them something to respond to (the question) making it much easier for them to write you back. Keep this first message to between 150-300 words.

Step 3

Once you've written a compelling profile, and you've practiced sending out some emails following the formula above, it's time to keep sending emails. Online dating is (partly) a numbers game. For every ten emails you send, if you follow this approach, you should hear back from at least one person. (Gals who are contacting guys, you'll have better success.) But, remember, it's important that you bring your best self to these interactions--if you don't, you may send hundreds of emails and never get a single reply! So, step three is to send at least 5 emails every day, following the formula in step 2.

Tips & Warnings

  • For best results, contact people early Friday (8-11 a.m. local time). This is when people are most receptive to contact from online dating sites.
  • Don't contact people on Sundays--they're least receptive then, and it's smart to be out living your life so you'll have plenty to talk about on all those dates you're lining up.
  • Guys: Don't be afraid to suggest meeting. Most people using online dating want to meet in person, and in traditional man-woman relationships, women may not be comfortable suggesting getting together. So, don't demand it, but do ask early on (3 emails in tends to be perfect).