I've owned the iPhone 5s for two years now and it's been a beast of a phone. I previously owned an iPhone 4, so it was a much welcome upgrade (for my phone and my social standing).
-Arguably perfect dimensions for fitting in one’s hand to accomplish the most menial of tasks, like surreptitiously stalking on Facebook that dog walker whose business card you asked for under totally not false pretenses.
-Lightning fast loading and browsing thanks to the A7 chip
-LED backlit and 326ppi pixel density (translation: very bright screen and lots of crisp, bold colors, perfect for helping you find your way when you’re lost at night in the woods and stumble upon an abandoned house you would be an idiot not to go in)
-8MP camera with flash, so you can take great photos of your friend facing the corner in the abandoned house and a 1.2MP self-facing camera for the perfect selfie just before you meet your doom
-You can record surprisingly great HD video at 1080p/30fps, because cat videos
-The iPhone 5s also has a pretty sensitive internal microphone, but you can actually connect external mics (e.g. lavalier) into the headphone jack and turn your phone into a cheap and portable audio recording solution for your indie documentary/YouTube make-up tutorial/Bar Mitzvah exit interview
-Touch ID is sooooooo convenient. Many apps are utilizing this great feature to help you log in to your favorite apps without the hassle of typing your password (i.e. no more angling your phone and craning your neck on the bus like the nefarious deviant you are)
-The speaker is as loud and obnoxious as you want (it) to be
-It’s light, but weighs enough to feel like the hundreds of dollars you spent on it (just kidding—you’d be filthy/rich if your pile of money weighed as much as this phone)
-Fantastic exercise for your thumb(s)
-GET A CASE. This phone is beautiful (on the inside, but, more importantly, on the outside), so take care of it with a slim, but comprehensive case (check out Spigen’s). Otherwise, your phone will die a slow death by a thousand paper cuts/one epic glass-shattering drop on the ground while hastily rummaging your pockets for your apartment keys before your neighbor sees you with toilet paper rolls AND a blu-ray of “Lars and the Real Girl.”