How to Tell if He's a Player
At one time or another, we all meet a player. Sometimes, we are lucky enough see through his game. With shows like The Pickup Artist on VH1, being a player has become fashionable, if not an art form! So ladies, if you are in a situation where you are not sure if he is a player, here are some helpful tips.
Realize that the word "player" is not a misnomer. He likes to play with your emotions to go after one thing. We all know what that thing is, and it is not your hand in marriage! It is sex. After he gets it, he usually moves on. A bigger commitment is not on his menu. Beware if you are at the stage in your life where you would like a more serious relationship.
Watch his actions, do not fall for his words. He is vague. You make plans to see him on the weekend, and he cancels at the last minute because he is "under the weather." You ask him if he is seeing other women, and he becomes defensive instead of answering your question. You ask him about his ex girlfriends, and he gives you a smooth answer like "That's all in the past, baby" or "They don't compare to you." You call him/text him, and he does not reply for a few days.
Beware of the romance trap. A player is romantic for a few reasons. He might say sweet nothing's knowing that you are eating it up. Or he is naturally romantic, he does not come off as fake. He looks into your eyes, he pays attention to what you have to say, he holds your hand, he buys you flowers... he does not mind doing all of that. In fact, he's more than happy to treat you like you are amazing. The only problem is that he does not want anything further than a hookup, so the only one getting hurt in the end is you by thinking he is being serious.
Ask to see his buddies. It's not that a player does not have any friends, in fact he may have plenty depending on how charming he is. But you never see them around or are invited to hang out with them. On the off-chance that one of his friends is a decent guy and will tell you the truth about your prince charming, the player will rarely introduce you. Introductions also mean commitment and relationship, words that the player shies away from.
Now that you know a few hints on sniffing out a player, the best way to be sure is to hold out on having sex. Even if the sparks are flying from the get-go, make him wait and work for it. If he is really interested in you, he'll begrudgingly wait as long as he has to. On the other hand, a player will move on to the next girl if the challenge is too great. Besides, it will be more romantic if you wait awhile :)
Tips & Warnings
- Don't be afraid to talk to your friends about their experiences with a player. You'll be able to joke about it and realize you aren't the only one who was hurt, so you can move on quicker